Tainted Perfection
by LaPaige
Summary: But I shall remain but a shadow to you- I shall never reveal myself, and that is a promise I intend to keep. TessNate.


**Wow, I'm on a roll! I've posted like, three one-shots and a chapter in the last two days. Crazy, huh? Well, I'm super proud of myself =D. I hope you enjoy this Ness, it's the first time I've wrote this pairing!**

**Title: **Tainted Perfection  
**Summary: **But I shall remain but a shadow to you- I shall never reveal myself, and that is a promise I intend to keep. TessNate.  
**Pairing: **Tess/Nate  
**Decication:** LittleRedOne (:

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_Nate._

_I am not the type to write love letters, and you know that. However, because you don't know who I am, then I suppose this is okay. People always say that you can express your feelings in a letter, and if anyone ever knew I'd wrote this, or even attempted to write this, then my reputation would be in tatters. I keep pausing to think things over, realizing that no good can come of this, that you'll remain oblivious. I'm the last person on earth who you would associate with this letter. Then I remember that you don't know who I am, and keep writing. You would laugh for hours if you knew who I really was. But I shall remain but a shadow to you- I shall never reveal myself, and that is a promise I intend to keep._

_Obviously you are never going to read this, and really I don't know why I'm bothering. If my own mother can't love me I don't see why anyone else can. I'll probably burn this when I'm finished. I suppose pouring all my __stupid feelings__ onto paper is meant to help. It isn't so far. _

_I saw you today. You were with Caitlyn Geller. It made my heart do these weird flop things when you smiled. I hated that. I hated I wasn't in control. But at the same time, in some warped way, I loved it too. _

_Isn't it ironic, that the one person that I fall in love with is the one person I can't have? I'm meant to be perfect but I couldn't have more imperfections if I tried. _

_My mother used to tell me how stupid I was. I believed her (and still do). My father left me and my mother when I was five. He said he loved me, but he couldn't live with me anymore. I didn't understand. I cried, begged him not to go, shouted and screamed. He didn't listen. That was when I started to go to great lengths to get my own way. Of course, not around my mother. She blamed me for my dad leaving. She turned to drink. _

_Like mother like daughter, eh?_

_Well, I'm going to stop writing now. I feel stupid enough already. I love you._

_You don't know that though. You never will._

_Signed,_

_Tess._

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Tess,

You really shouldn't drop letters when you're walking back from Pyjama Jams. Especially when they are addressed to someone, and that person could … I don't know, read the letter?

Whatever.

You know, I always did hate you. But then, last year, you changed. I don't know why or how, but you did. I remember how Mitchie and Caitlyn didn't believe it, and wouldn't even look at you. I looked at you, though. I believed you had changed. I remember when I fell for you. You were practising for Final Jam, solo. You had your eyes closed, so you couldn't see me, but I saw you. And then you opened your eyes and I ran away. But I couldn't stop thinking about you.

In fact, one of the only reasons I started dating Caitlyn was to get you out my head. Not that you ever noticed. Or knew, in fact, the real reason behind our dates: so I could forget you. And I bet you didn't know that when I kissed her I closed my eyes and pretended it was you. I felt bad for every second I spent with her, so I suppose that was why I broke up with her yesterday.

Yeah, I broke up with her. Happy?

I would say something like 'you'll never read this', but I know you will because I'm going to give it to you.

Your mother is wrong: you aren't stupid. You could be as smart as Mitchie (sorry for comparing you two, I know you dislike her) if you tried. And you're beautiful, too. Your laugh is one of the prettiest sounds in the world to me.

Oh dear lord, I can't believe I'm writing this.

To quote you:

I'm going to stop writing now. I feel stupid enough already.

I love you too, in case you hadn't noticed.

By the way, your new skirt matches your eyes.

Nate.

P.S – Don't bother with any more letters, the whole 'damsel in distress' thing isn't working out for you. Unlike that dress you wore yesterday, but I won't discuss that with you over paper.

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**I'm okay-ish with how this turned out, and I wanted to make it longer but writers block can be a horrible thing. Please review and tell me what you think (:**


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